-         Matilda?

The teacher called out.

-         Yes.

I turned around and looked at her. She stared at me and I could feel her eyes in the back of my neck when I turned around.

I stared at the clock the whole class through and tried to focus and as soon as the clock hit 3 and my day was over. I pulled up my books as quick as I could and pretty much ran out of class.

What the hell was she doing here?

When I sat down in the car I catched my breath and picked up my phone.

I dialed Louis number but he didn’t pick up. But then I realized thet time must be like 6 am there. I shook it off, put in my favourite Frank Ocean Cd and went to Lucy’s day care.

-         Hey Lucy! Wanna go for ice cream?

-         Yes!

We sat down by the closest café and had ice cream, we soon decided to go see Jay and all the sisters.

When we got there Lucy ran off with the twins so me and Jay sat down by a cup of tea.

We ended up staying longer than we thought and soon the time had struck 8, Lucy had fallen asleep on the couch so I carried her out to the car.

-         Bye Jay always nice to chat with you. Take care.

I gave her a hug and sat down in the car as we drove back to granny’s.

When I finally came back and went to my room I just laid down on the bed and feel asleep, I was dead tired.

The week past on pretty good, tried to ignore that Matilda, Sarah and Elin was at the same school but it was good. Met lots of new people, been talking a lot with Louis on skype, phone, texting, everything, missed him big time.

It was Saturday and my first day off school.

I pulled on an old pair of broken jeans that barely fit any more because I have started to eat normally. And then I pulled on one of Louis’ hoodies that he left me. I breathed in Louis’ scent and took a last sip of my tea and then I was out. It was not very nice weather out when I came out. I went over and started the car and drove back to our old house. Since I was 18 and dad was given life time in prison the house was sat over on me.

It gave me shivers just driving near the house. Even less park the car by the house. I pulled out the key and my hands were shaking like crazy.

I took a deep breath as I opened the door and stepped in. It was dark and smelled disgusting. And the feeling I got just by being there was horrible, felt like three months ago and I was waiting for him to get home and hit me so hard I couldn’t breathe. I turned on some of the lights and went upstairs. I wrapped up all of my and Lucy’s stuff that was left and put them in the car. All of his clothes and things I threw out on the ground along with some other stuff. I took all the furniture and put them all in the living room. I cleaned out the whole house and then put back all the furniture. I burned all his clothes and stuff.

I stood back and watched his stuff burn and I got flashback from every scar he gave me and I felt the tears burning on my eyes.

And just before I was gonna leave I put out the fire again, all there was left was ash.

I sat down in the car and the tears kept streaming down my face as I stared driving.

-         Why? Why me!? WHYYYYY!!!?????

I screamed all I had. I pulled over to the side of the road.

-         Why the fuck me??? Huh!? WHY?

I screamed and hit the steering wheel as hard as I could and the tears didn’t stop coming.

My phone went off and I sat myself back and tried to look at the screen but it was pointless due to all the tears.

-         He,hello?

-         Nathalie? What’s going on are you okay?

-         No, I try to convince myself that I am, but I’m not.

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