- What?

- I love you. 

I let go off Liam and stood two feet back and looked at him.

- But what about Danielle?

- I'm going to break up with her.

- What? No. You can't break up wth her because of me. I destoryed your relathionship. Oh my god, I'm so sorry. Liam please don't break up with your girlfriend, not because of me.

- Well I'm not just breaking up with her because of you, I don't love her any more, not the way i love you.

I felt his eyes burning on my skin when I looked out over London. And soon i felt his breath on my neck when he stood just inches behind me. 

- You look beautiful whit your hair, well more like without but you're beautiful.

He walked around me so he was infront of me.

- I love you, Rebecca and only.

He placed his both hands on my cheeks and pulled me closer and closer till i felts his soft lips on mine.

- I love you too.  

He looked at me and his smile grew on his lips through the kiss.

- So what now?

- Well i'd love to take you on dates, so what do you say?

- Well that can't do because I'm not allowed to be away from the hospital to long.

- I can take you to McDonalds?

- Sounds perfect!

It had been three weeks now, three weeks since i ran off from Liam in the hope of seeing him in the morning, three weeks since i got grounded on a hospital, ridiculous really.

It was the first day of freedoom today, and even if i knew deep inside that there was no way that Liam was going to be here i had a smile on my face as i walked down to the waitingroom with my iPod in my hand. 

I sat down on the same couch as always and one hour past, two hours, three hours and I couldn't take it anymore i stood up and walked out. When i came back mum was asleep. I took of my hat that i had on. My hair was so thin now, i barely had much left. 

There was an old woman by the front desk, she must be new here, I had never seen her before. 

- Hello.

- Hello.

- I was wondering if you have any shaving machine's at this hospital?

- Why?

- Well you see, all the cancer treatments have taken it's toll on my hair and i'd like to save the hir that is left off.

- I'll make sure a nurse comes with one and helps you with it, what room are you in darling?

- 78, thank you.

- No problem.

I walked back to my room exhausted for no big reason but i fell asleep the moment i laid down on my bed but i was woken up pretty soon again by a nurse who had a shaving machine. 

- Are you sure about this Rebecca?

- Yes, and when I'm done here it will grow out anyway. 

- Okay. 

I felt the shaving machine go on my head and soon it was done. It was all gone. 

 

*LIAM*S POV*

 

It was 7 pm and i was supposed to meet Dani in half an hour. But i just needed to see her, hug her one last time. I sat myself down in the car and drove the same way as i had driven everyday 4 weeks straight. It was an old lady by the front desk.

- Hi.

- Hello.

I asked what room she was in and ran away as soon as i heard the numver to her room.

I came up to the right hall.

- 74, 75, 76, 77, 78.

I stood outside her door, i had my hand up on the door handle nut i couldn't move it. I couldn't open it. I had stood there for less than 2 min but it felt like forever. I could perform for thousands but i couldn't even man up to open her door. 

I breathed out one last time as i pulled down the handle. There she was. 

 

*REBECCA'S POV*

 

I heard the doorhandle go open, it was probably just another nurse. 

I qickly looked away from the TV screen for a second. It was far from a nurse. I opened my mouth but nothing came out .I stood up and walked up to him.

- I'll be back soon, mum.

I didn't even listen to her answer before i took a strong grip around Liam's hand and we ran up to the roof. 

- Hi.

- Hey.

He threw his arms around me and i could drown in his arms. I stood on my tiptoes and pushed my head down in his shoulder. 

- I thought I'd never see you again and I was in my room and mum and-

He looked down on his feet and just hushed me.

- I love you, Rebecca. 

I sat in the room as usual and when i got home yesterday mum was pissed. No more walks, taking away the one thing that helped me get through the days. But i did sneak out tonight though, but only on the roof because tecnically i never took a walk outside the hospital. 

This day was the one of the longest i've ever had at the hospital. I didnt do much, the nurseswalked in and out of the room all the time. And when mum wasnt in my room a nurse sat there watching me so i wouldn't "run away" jesus christ..

All i wanted to do was to walk out and sit down in the waitinroom and see Liam walk in. But no, that wasn' happening and when i was aloud to take walks again Danielle was going to be out of the hospital and Liam was going to be with her. 

It was two weeks since i was "grounded" now, Liam and Danielle was probably out and all i could do was to sit here really. 

 

 

It was two weeks now, two weeks ago since i saw Rebecca the last time. I wonder what scared her off like that. She just ran and then she never came back or even said a word. 

I thought about her everyday and it didn't pass one day that i went to the hospital and sat there waiting for her. 

i wanted her, needed her, here, now. 

It was a sunday today. I sat in my car and drove through London. I came to the hospital, parked it and went in. SHe had to be here, today she was going to be there. In the waitingroom waiting for me and i would she her face lit up in a smile and we would take our regular walks around the hospital and might take a quick sec up on the roof and just look out over London. 

I walked in and closed my eyes.

- You're going to sit there, in the same sofa you always sit in. You're going to sit there waiting for me and I'm going to feel your arms around me when you give me a good morning hug. 

I slowly opened my eyes hoping that she actually would sit there. 

But i was in for disappointing, like all ther other mornings. No Rebecca. 

I walked up to the front desk. 

- Hello.

I said Rebecca's mum's name.

- I'm sorry there is no one in this whole hospital by that name. But there is a Rebecca with the same last name.

- But that's her daughter?

- Yes. She has been here for soon two months. 

I took a strong grip on the counter so I wouldnt fall down on the floor because my legs were giving in beneth me. 

- Can I see her, ca, can i go to her room?

- uhm I'm affraid that you can't right now she is in her cancer radiation sesion right now. But in a few hours, yes of course.

- Okay thank you.

My head was spinning so fast as I stumbled out of the hospital again.

- Maybe we should get back?

- Or we can just lay here for a bit more.

- No I kinda have to get back to my mum.

- Yeah of course.

We both sat up and he then helped me up. We walked in silence down towards the exit again. 

- Good bye then.

- Good bye.

- I'll see you here tomorrow, then?

- Yeah. 

I saw him turn around and walk out. I turned around as well and went up to my room. Mum was sitting there reading. 

- The nurse are coming in a few minutes so you need to stay here for a few hours.

- Yeah of course, where else would I be.

I couldn't sleep that night. I don't knwo wether it was that all I could think of was him or that i was thinking of that he had a girlfriend. But he would never like me more than a friend anyway. I mean come on look at his girlfriend. 

Ended up sleeping about 2 hours. I ate breakfast and right after that i went down to the waitingroom and Liam was already there.

- Hi, you're up early! 

- Yeah well me and lads are heading for McDonalds breakfast i wondered if you maybe want to come with us?

- Me? 

- Yes.

- But, but what about Danielle?

- What we are just friends.

Even though i knew that that was all we ever could be, it was like a dagger right through the heart.

- Yeah, friends. Ive already had breakfast sorry.

- But can't you just join anyway, please for me?

- Fine, but I have to tell my mum first.

I ran to the room and i already had my jeans and a hoodie on so i almost screamed the words in mums face.

- Can, can i talk a long walk?

- But, what? Yeah i guess, 1,5 tops though! 

- Okay, thank you, I love you! As fast as I could and i was soon back in the waitingroom. It took us only 10-15  min to walk there. Liam bought a whole breakfast i insisted on not having anything since i didn't have any money but he bought me a hot chocolate and a bagel. We went over to one of the tables and 4 lads sat around it.

- Guys, his is Rebecca.

- Hi!

- Hello!

The moment i sat down we all just blabered away.

- Excuse me, but what time is it?

- It's 12.36.

- What!?

I shoudl have been back to the hospital almost an hour ago.

- I'm sorry but i have to run, it was amazing to meet you guys.

I ran out of McDonalds. I heard Liam scream after me i quickly turned around and waved and then i just kept running. As i walked in I saw mum standing in the waiting room.

- Where have you been young lady? I told you to be back here one hour ago. Teh nurses went around the hospital and you were nowhere to be found! This is not okay. Rebecca, I've been worred sick! You just walking off like this! Lying, this is not you. No more walks for 3 weeks! 

It was a week ago since i first met Liam now and i sat in the waiting room as he walked in to the room he had his regular smile on his lips a simple blue pair of jeans a plaid shirt.

- Hello! 

- Hi, babe! So what are we doing today?

- I wanna show you something. With that I stood up and reached out my hand. 

He hesitated for a bit but took my hand and stood up as well. I pulled him behind me as we walked through the halls of the hospital. We took the elevator all the way up and took the stairs he last two floors. 

I opened a door and the cold wind hit my face I pulled Liam out on the roof with me. I let go of his hand and walked all the way to the edge. 

- This is amazing Rebecca. 

- Yeah, i love it up here I usually bring my iPod and i can just sit here for hours and at night just sitting here seeing the stars and everything is just so calm and peaceful. Just looking out over London, there is nothing better honestly.

- Even better than spending time with me?

- Haha, of course not! Haha but seriously nothing beats being up here at night looking at the stars.

We both laid down on the roof and looked up at the sky. I had my head on his arm.

- So tell me about your friends, what are they like?

- Well Louis he might be one of my oldest closest friend but he sure is the most childish but he is hilarious, he always gets me and lads laughing, Niall irishman, loves sports, loves life and he is just smiling everyday always hungry. Harry ladiesman, flirts a lot, haha, but he is also always happy and smiling and a day on set with him and you're never bored. Zayn, falls asleep everywhere and he might be shy in the beginning but he is Louis' partner in crime, always cracking you up. And Andy of course known him since forever, grew up in the same town, same school. It's always good to come home and see him. They always got my back. What about yours?

- Yeah, uhm, don't really got that many, to be honest. I have my best friend and i barely see her any more, really miss her. When i started coming here all the time she found herself a boyfriend and soon if i were lucky she called few times a week. I haven't spoken to her in weeks now. I called, but she doesn't answer.

- I'm sorry.

- Why it's not yoru fault, Liam.

He looked me in the eyes and i felt safe, his face came closer and closer mine.

No, he got a girlfriend.

I turned my head the other way and bite the bullet.

- So uhm, your girlfriend how's she like?

- Uhm, she is great, just great. They said that she will be out soon.

- That's great.

- Yeah. 

We both just laid there in silence, but this time it was awkward and i just wanted to hit myself for pulling away from the kiss. I wanted to turn my head and press his lips on mine, scream in his face and beg for him to kiss me.

But i didn't.

When i came back  mum sat and shewed on an apple. 

- How are you feeling today?

- Good, you?

- Good.

i sat up on the bed and turend on the Tv, it was nothing fun on so i sat down on the floor by the window that went all the way down to the floor. I plugged in my music and i was gone. 

i looked out of the window, i missed home, I hadn't been home in over a month now. And i missed my friends like crazy.

i turned around and looked over at mum that was watching some lame old TV show.

- Mum?

- Yes? Shesaid while she turned her head towards me and turned the sound on the TV off.

- Is it okay if I take a walk around the Hospital?

- Yeah sure, but not far like last time.

- Yeah, okay.

I plugged in my headphones again and heard a slight sound from the TV in the background as i pulled on my shoes.

i walked out of the main entrance and the cold wind hit my face. I should have taken my hoodie on But i didn't feel like turning back so i didn't care to much that it was so cold. I came to the smaller entrance and to even notice anything and just as i had walked passed it i felt a hand on the shoulder. It was probably just one of the nurses. 

I turned around and there stood the boy from earlier. 

- Hi Rebecca.

- Hi, I didn't see you there. 

- Yeah you seem kind of into your music.

- Haha, yeah.

It was a kinda awkward silence and I didn't know whether I should stay there or keep on walking. He put his hands down his fron pockets.

- Yeah, I should go.

- Do you mind if I go with you?

- Sure, why not.

- You were right by the way?

- What? What was this boys talking about?

- About my girlfriend. She only had a minor concussion and a broken arm in two places.

I put on my regular worn out jeans and an oversized t-shirt that hung over the chair and my beanie. I kissed my mum on her forehead while she was sleepin and put on my slippers as I walked out of my room, couldnt breath in there. I walked around in the halls and ended up in the waiting room looking at everyone passing by. Broken legs, wound across the wrist, cuts, bike accidents, cra accidents. Everyone just passing by me within seconds. But then one bed came rolling in wih a young woman on it. It looked kind of like she was faking it, well not really faking but she was definatly exaggerating. 

The boy who had been walking next to the bed the whole hallway down sat down next to me on the couch. He was so nervous. He looked like he could piss himself any minute. But he was cute. Early 20, brown hair fixed up in a perfect hairdoo, big brown eyes, pretty tall, pair of skinny jeans and just a regular wine red shirt. 

- Is that your girlfriend?

- Yes, yes it is.

He was about to cry.

- Wanna know a secret?

He waited a while before answering, he just sat there looking at me.

- S, sure, why not.

- She is exaggerating.

- What, how dare you? 

- Trust me, I've seen people like her before. She only got what looks like a concussion and a broken arm. I dare you to tell me I'm wrong.

- You are so wrong. 

- Anyway why are you here?

- I'm here for my mum. but i hate sitting in that room all teh time, i can't breath it's so small and i just don' like hospitals. 

We ended up talking for two hours before a nurse came and tapped on my shoulder.

- Sweetie your mum is wondering where you are i think you should go back to the room.

- yeah sure.

- It was nice meeting you. 

- Nice meeting you too.

I stood up and walked around the corner on my way to the room.

I soon quickly turned around put my head around the corner. 

- I'm Rebecca by the way.

- I'm Liam.

He smiled and looked back down at his phone and the grin wouldnt come off my face.

 

KOMMENTERA DITT NAMN ELLER VILKET NAMN DU NU VILL ATT TJEJEN SKA HA OCH SEN HARRY ELLER LIAM, VÄLJER NAMN NÄR 10 ST KOMMENTERAT! PUSS O KRAM

I felt a few lonely tears stream down my face as I was in the middle of a wave but I didn’t want to think about it, at all.

But my mind kept wandering off and it was like a smack in the face every time I thought about the fact that Niall had left.

I saw James sitting on the beach, but right now all I wanted to was to be alone so I stayed on my board a while longer in hope that he would leave but he didn’t and I was exhausted.

-         Melani, hi. I heard what happened with you and Niall.

-         Please just don’t.

-         Come on, he pretty much unfriended me not much worse than being dumped.

-         What?

-         Yeah he called me when he touched down in London and had a breakout on me through the phone, and at one point I even think he was crying because he was mad and sad. So can we please talk about it?

-         We can talk but not about that.

-         Deal.

I sat down and felt the wind blow in my hair and you could feel fall coming which I hated.

We didn’t talk much, not at all actually. We just sat there on the beach. Didn’t feel like moving or doing anything. Until I broke the silence.

-         That night, it was a mistake, right?

-         Yes, well I think so can’t remember much to be honest.

-         Ha, me neither can’t really remember anything to be honest.

We bought burst out laughing.

*NIALL’S POV*

When I walked into Melani’s house her mum said she weren’t there. And after that my best guess was the beach.

As I walked across the beach I saw two body’s and one of them was defiantly Melani and…James. I was only a few feet away from them now.

My heart dropped, I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t move.  

*MELANI’S POV*

I felt James lean in and how his lips crashed on mine but I didn’t kiss back, I couldn’t, I didn’t want. I pushed him away.

-         Ha, I came here to say sorry. But I guess you’re already over it.

-         Niall! Shit, no, no. Why the fuck would you do that.

I looked over at James who just looked stupid.

-         Fuck off James. NIALL FOR GOD’S SAKE STOP.

I stopped up and hurried over to him with my board under my arm.

-         Please, it wasn’t me, it was all James.

-         Bet it was all him last time too.

-         No! Listen last time was a mistake such as now. Last time sure it was apparently both of us, but was a huge mistake and I can’t even remember it, all I remember is waking up next to James. And this time it was James, and I can assure you that it was all James! For fuck’s sake stop then Niall!

I’ve waited these weeks and hope every second of everyday that you would suddenly show up at my door, you can’t even imagine how many times I’ve thought of taking a flight in the middle of the night over to London but I was too scared  that you would just tell me to go back.

How many sleepless nights I had, I haven’t done anything, I’ve been walking Buddy because that was the only thing that still connected to you. I haven’t even been surfing till today. And don’t you dare tell me that you haven’t felt like this too because you have and I know that because the lads told me. But fine, walk off again. Go home. Don’t show your face to me again. But we both know you’re making a mistake.

That’s all I had to say. Bye.

I turned around and walked back to the beach to pick up my board and head home with the hope that the lads still would be there.

I felt I had on my wrist and it swung me around.

-         I’m not losing you again.

He put his hands around me and I felt his sweet lips on mine. 

THE END

---

Nu känner jag att det är dags för ny novell för att denna är bajs, och jag orkar inte med den.

Kommer upp inlägg imorgon om ny novell osv. KRAM PÅ ER

Well more like, there they stood.

I rubbed my eyes to see that I was actually right.

There stood Harry, Louis, Liam and Zayn, in my room and I looked like shit.

-         Hi.

-         What are you doing?

-         I’m, uhm, sleeping, kind of.

-         No, I mean why did you hurt Niall, what did you do?

-         You guys too. Great. But well, he found out something that happened over a year ago now, and I’m not really proud of it, but he overreacted. And the way he did react hurt me too.

-         But you lied about it.

I felt a tear run down my cheek as I stood up with my cover wrapped around me. I stood out on the balcony with a smoke in my hand.

-         Yes I said that Niall didn’t know the guy but he might actually do. But only because I was a mistake, that whole night! And I didn’t want Niall to be upset. And I didn’t even know Niall back then!

-         We know.

-         Then why are you here and not him?

-         He doesn’t know that we are here.

-         So you are going behind his back?

-         Can I get a smoke?

Zan walked up to me and stood outside on the balcony too. It was just so it fitted both of us.

-         Here you go.

We had a proper talk that last for a few hours. They even ended up sleeping on my floor.

I couldn’t sleep that, not at all. All I could think of was Niall. I even thought of just running to the airport and take a random plane to London to go see him. But I didn’t. When the clock turned 6 I felt that it was early or late enough to go up so I took my board and sneaked out of the house so no one would wake up.

-          Niall please talk to me! But wait what are you doing? That’s the plane for Ireland.

I pointed at the gate next to this one.

-          I’m not going to Ireland, Melani. I’m going to London.

I didn’t say a word, I didn’t have words. I stepped back from him and just felt tears burning but I didn’t let them out. I just went over to my gate and boarded my plane even though I didn’t want to go, I didn’t want to go anywhere but where Niall was going. I just wanted to stay here in Italy and it was going to be like it all was a few hours ago.

When I stepped out in Ireland it was raining, surprise huh? Not really, no. I stepped out to the parkinglot and sat down in my car.

-          FUUUUUUUCK OFFFFFFF, SHIT, FUCK, MOTHER FUCKER!

I screamed with all I had in my body. And I did it all the way home. I first drove by Niall’s house to pick up Buddy. When I came home mum was there.

-          Fuck.

I muttered low beneath my breaths.

-          Are you already home?

-          Please, not now.

I took a few quick steps up stairs and into my room.

I felt the tears burning again and this time I actually let stream down and I went off, I ripped down all the posters I had on my walls, I pulled down all the stuff I had on my table, I pulled out all of my clothes on the floor. I just felt empty, none of that stuff mattered any more.

I ran downstairs.

-          James is he-

I ran past them both I took my board in the garage and ran all the way down to the beach. I weren’t wearing neither my bikini nor wetsuit but I pulled of my clothes so was just in my underwear.

-          Melani, what is going on.

-          Just leave James, please.

He said something more but I just shut off and swam out in the sea.

I got my mind of things for a few hours and it felt good. I pulled on my shirt over my soaked underwear.

When I came home mum was asleep on the couch and I went straight up for a shower. I headed out on my balcony and had a smoke with Buddy in my arms. I fixed all my stuff together that was on the floor.

The upcoming days I spent either in my bed or on a walk with Buddy.

About a week had passed since that day in Italy or was it 2, 3 I don’t honestly had no idea any more. I had barely eaten in days, but I wasn’t hungry so why would I?

I heard knocking on my door it was probably mum again, nabbing about how I should get up and get over him and to get a job.

-          Please just no. I’m sorry but fuck off.

-          That won’t do.

What the? It was a man’s voice, but I couldn’t quite figure out who it was, but I knew I heard it before.

I turned around and there in my door he stood.

---

Gillar verkligen inte den här novellen, ush. Men det är inte långt kvar. Har kanske 1 eller 2 kapitel kvar hade jag tänkt då och sen blir det ju ny! Men iallafall kommentera vad ni tycker, KRAM!